I’m a transgender woman. My name is Gabby (or Gabrielle if you’re being formal) and I use she/her/hers pronouns¹. Let’s talk about it.

I’ve drafted, deleted, and re-written this post over a dozen times this past year. Finding the right time and manner to share major personal news is always tricky. There’s a temptation to make it line up with some external milestone like the start of the new year, or perhaps to share it at a time that is personally convenient without much going on at work or in life. But in reality, there’s no such thing as a “perfect” time, but there is a great cost in waiting. I’m tired of having to do mental gymnastics about who I have or haven’t come out to when RSVP’ing to plans. Just the other day, I struck up a conversation with someone at a coffee shop and she offered to connect on LinkedIn. With dread, I realized I had introduced myself as Gabby but my LinkedIn profile still has my old identity on it. Awkwardly, I asked to connect over email instead.

My medical transition began almost two years ago, and I finally accepted that I was trans probably a year or so before that. In the intervening time I’ve gradually told more and more people in my life, culminating with this public announcement today and a name change across my social media accounts. This is probably a lot slower than most trans people tend to come out after beginning their transitions, but the timeline worked for me for a variety of reasons. That said, it has been hard to juggle and switch between essentially two distinct versions of myself (in appearance, personality, name, etc.) with various circles of people in my life. While writing this post is scary (more on that in a minute), I can already feel an immense weight coming off my shoulders given that I no longer need to hide who I am.

Transitioning is a wonderful and beautiful process, but it has also been quite sobering in how it’s made me reevaluate so many parts of my past. If you had asked me at age 8 or 15 or 23 if I was happy, I would have said yes and I would have meant it. But looking back at those times now, with the benefit of hindsight, I realize that I had this fundamental truth about myself bottled up and locked deeply away. Pre-transition Gabby was (for the most part) happy, did well in school and at work, and had a thriving social life, but there was an undercurrent of confusion and what I now realize was gender dysphoria². Realizing that I have this dysphoria and taking steps to deal with it — from subtle things like piercing my ears and painting my nails to bigger decisions like taking hormone replacement therapy — has been genuinely life changing and has made me feel more like me than I ever thought was possible.

All that said, this is a somewhat terrifying time to transition and to be a transgender person, especially in the United States. With a stark rise in both trans visibility and anti-trans politics, it is almost impossible to read the news without hearing about how we’re ruining sports or brainwashing children or some other nefarious plot to destroy society. My goal, on the other hand, is just to be myself and stop hiding such an important part of myself from everyone in my life. So despite the sharp uptick in hatred and fear mongering about trans people, I need to share who I am in order to be fully comfortable in my own skin. Is it scary to do so? Yes, without question. But it will also be a lot easier to be able to live fully and authentically as Gabby without having to juggle two identities across multiple areas of my life.

While this is certainly big news, I think in many ways I’m still the same person I always have been. I still have the same corny sense of humor, the same love for animals, and the same addiction to coffee. Being trans, for me at least, has allowed me to connect more deeply with my emotions, my spirituality, and my sense of self. So, despite the trepidation caused by gestures broadly at national politics, I’m thrilled to finally be able to share my whole self with everyone in my life.

Just as a closing note, when this post goes up, I’ll be sharing it across my Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn accounts and changing my name on those platforms. If we know one another, please feel free to reach out with any questions or thoughts. Also, please do not take it personally if we haven’t talked about this before this post going up. I have to share this news with a ton of people and this was the most straightforward way to do it.